An Open Letter To Writers Who Write Open Letters

It’s not me, it’s you.

Writer Tip: Putting your unused hand on your manuscript will keep it from getting blown away during storms.

Dear Medium Writers Who Write Open Letters On Medium,

I know how hard it can be to fart out topics to write about on Medium and keep your stats from looking like flat valleys instead of mountain ranges.

But this trend of penning open letters to everyday objects has to die.

And it has to die HARD.

Because the jig is up. I’m onto your writer-y con. You’re exposed for all to see.

For some strange reason, a plethora — an overabundance, even — of Medium writers have developed the irritating superpower of “immunity from new and various article formats”.

Instead of putting in the work to give birth to an original idea, you looked around your room for inspiration, and a light bulb turned on that shouldn’t have turned on.

“I know! I’ll write an open letter to…my ashtray!”

“Hmmm, nobody’s written any open letters to my couch lately. I might as well be the first!”

“My cat’s breath smells like an open sewer filled with bad beef — I think people will want to read an open letter about that!”

Some of you have even managed to barely transcend the silly fad of writing open letters to everyday things…