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Medium is like Las Vegas, except they don’t give you free watered down cocktails to keep writing.

Being a Medium Writer Is Like Being A Degenerate Gambler

I’m in a bad place right now.

There’s the healthy way to be a Medium writer.

You write a few stories, you improve your writing skills, you see what kind of feedback you get when you publish a story, try out new topics, then you go about the rest of your life as a professional employee or full-time human being or whatever.

Then there’s the unhealthy way to be a Medium writer.

You check your Stats way too often, you get frustrated when you break a winning streak of hit stories with an underperforming story, you wish for a pox upon the house of Medium for not curating your stories as often as you like, and it pisses you off when you write a story that has a thousand claps yet only makes you $3.47.

And then, there’s MY way to be a Medium writer (which is the same as the unhealthy way, but cooler).

You have all of the symptoms that come with the unhealthy fixation of writing on Medium, except you, uh, you get to…um…you have the benefit of having…it’s just more fun, ok?

1. I can’t stop writing on Medium

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My Stats page makes me want to eat pencils. I HAVE A PROBLEM, OK?!

2. I devote too much time to writing on Medium despite the fact it makes me very little money

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“Stop throwing books at me, I’m trying to become a millionaire overnight with Medium!”

3. I write on Medium to get away from my life’s problems

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“I don’t care if there’s a warrant out for my arrest — I’m getting curated, dammit!”

4. I write to recover money I didn’t make from previous stories

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My greedy face is the same as my constipated face. Don’t ask why.

Written by

I cover art, culture, film, comedy, creativity, books, and more at https://medium.com/the-reckless-muse

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