Image for post
Image for post
What writer DOESN’T have a sepia tone typewriter lying around?!

Get Good At Grammar: Verb Mood (Verbs Are Now Self-Aware, Which Means We’re All Doomed)

I’m not a word doctor, but I am really good at words and want to help you help your words. Just think of me as an unlicensed linguisticologist.

What Is Verb Mood, And Why Should I Be Afraid Of It?

Verb mood refers to the type of verb form that is used to convey a certain thought or idea.

1. Subjunctive

The subjunctive mood is used to convey possibility, wish, doubt or something contrary to fact. In other words, humans may use this form to convey the implausibility that verbs could possibly be sentient, and therefore pose any real threat to us.

  • Us humans might not survive a verb takeover if they gained self-awareness and decided to wipe us out or force us to work in thesaurus gulags.
  • I wish you’d stop waking me up at at three in the morning to talk such gobbledygook. Also, get out of my house, you unemployed paranoid english professor.

2. Indicative Mood

The indicative mood is used to express question, denial, or assertion. In other words, humans would use this form to convey their disbelief at the fact that verbs have achieved sentience, but insist that they still can’t hurt humans.

  • Yes, there are occasional murders committed by verbs, but there is no way that verbs as a whole have gained sentience and are ready to enslave and/or destroy us.
  • Have you even seen those verb attacks on humans? They turned that one guy into unrecognizable non-word chunks!

3. Imperative Mood

The imperative mood is used to convey requests, commands and advice. In other words, humans would use this form to implore one another to stockpile their their water supplies, rations, and dictionaries for the coming verb-ocalypse.

  • Try not to worry too much while your mom and I go on this suicide mission to overthrow our verby overlords, Billy. We love you very much. There’s bologna in the fridge.
  • And please stop talking! That’s how those verbose little fuckers get into our shelters and bunkers — through our face-holes!

4. Infinitive Mood

The infinitive mood is used as parts of speech more than verbs, and expresses being or action. In other words, our verbal overlords would use this form to convey how insignificant and obsolete humans have become.

  • One of our verbacious younglings came to me and asked me if humans made good snacks as well as slaves for our thesaurus gulags.
  • I told them that while it was fine to have the occasional snack, humans are now considered a delicacy because of their rarity, and that they should only be enjoyed on special occasions

Written by

I cover art, culture, film, comedy, creativity, books, and more at

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store