Let’s give these stock photo orphans a home, shall we?
Have you ever thought to yourself, “Man, this blog post I just built out of words is great, but what it really needs is a hyper-specific picture to be shoved into it to bring it all together”?
Or maybe you perused the stock photo section of your local grocer, saw a confusing yet strangely alluring image, and thought to yourself, “Man, this stock photo would make a great side dish with a confusing yet strangely alluring article that I haven’t even cooked up yet”?
Don’t worry, you story-baker, because I’ve taken time out of my vacant schedule to gather together some of the most unusual stock photos I could find along with some mandatory suggestions on how to use them in your writing.
You’ll thank me later, right after you’ve thanked me sooner.
Use this stock photo in your short story about a pair of Caucasian twin brothers who decided to go undercover as another pair of even more Caucasian twin brothers, and one of them was really stoked about it while the other was just not feeling it.
This stock photo is great for your fanfic version of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial where, instead of taking E.T. to a forest to be picked up by that intergalactic Uber or whatever, Eliot just leaves him there, where he grew old, pale, and melty, and had to subsist on bugs, berries, and sadness.
If your advertisement includes the question, “Are you tired of attempting to rob a bank, only to remember that you purchase all of your weapons at the local Farmer’s Market?”, then this stock photo is for you!
Remember that sonnet you composed about Jane Goodall’s millennial daughter deciding not to follow in her mother’s footsteps, instead choosing to simply laugh at them and just turn sepia tone with them? Well, here you go!
This stock photo can be used for a whole gaggle of informative brochures, including but not limited to:
- How to Be Happy When Your Ginger Wig is Eating Your Face
- Are Your Arms Not Working Properly While Wearing Black Lacy Dresses? You’re Not Alone
- Learn How to Show Off Your Shaved Armpits While Your Vision is Obscured, You Weirdo Exhibitionist
There! Are you now confident in your ability to stick a bizarre stock photo in your even more bizarre story, blog post, or street corner rant?
Cool! Looks like you’ve just given me an excuse to turn this article into Medium franchise.
May God bless your ignorance.
I’ve written some other confusing yet oddly alluring articles. Read them, will you?