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My Dog Is Either A Muppet Reject Or An Adorable Goblin, I’m Not Sure Which

Joe Garza
3 min readJun 20, 2019

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There are only two possibilities about the lineage of my dog, Chomper: he is either something Jim Henson tossed in the garbage because he thought the world wasn’t ready for a mutant Muppet, or he’s an extra from the cinematic masterpiece, Gremlins, as seen below:

Both options are equally delightful.

And if you think my musings on the matter are unfounded, check out the list below for the weird traits that Chomper has that the average pooch doesn’t:

A Mohawk

Why would a dog have a mohawk? To attract female dogs? To attract female humans for his dad/owner? I sure hope so, ‘cuz I’m taking my boy clubbing, yo!

I haven’t tested this, but I’m pretty sure the mohawk is designed to make him more aerodynamically sound when chasing cats, mailmen, and criminals.

An Underbite

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Joe Garza
Joe Garza

Written by Joe Garza

I cover art, culture, film, comedy, creativity, books, and more at https://medium.com/the-reckless-muse

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