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I’m influential. Here’s proof (that I fabricated).
Many of you have probably noticed that I’ve become quite the cultural leader on Medium.
In fact, some may even say that I’ve become a literary God among illiterate apes (my words, not theirs).
As you would expect, I get a fair amount of fan mail from my devoted readers, and to prove how influential I am, I thought I’d share some of the letters I’ve received without the authors’ permission, and respond to them with words.
Bask in the evidence of my greatness!
Dear Mr. Joe,
Please stop writing on Medium.
Your writing is shit.
Your writing is like something a shit shat out.
Your writing is like something that got caught in a shit-fire, and someone tried to put it out with wet shit.
Your writing is the writing of a madman with explosive diarrhea-shit. I don’t think there’s medication for whatever brain shit-disease you have, but Ex-Lax might help. But probably not.
Anyway, please take my advice. I have guns.
Jesus Saves,
Sherman Shitman, Plumber Extraordinaire
