Suck my truth, GoT fans.
I thought fans were supposed to be fans of things they loved and cared about. But apparently, there’s a weird new trend of fans quickly disavowing their favorite franchises.
Star Wars, Doctor Who, and now Game of Thrones — for whatever reason, it’s totally in to just shit on your favorite series.
“Hmph! My favorite TV show didn’t cater to my exact emotional needs! Looks like I’m cutting you out of my will! Their creators will get NONE of my meager inheritance when I die of the sadness they stirred in me!”
And if you think I’m making this up just so I can write an article that will get plenty of clicks (which is kinda mostly entirely true), then read on for my scientific proof about how fans of Game of Thrones are Game of Thrones’ biggest haters.
Fans have devoted nearly a decade to watching the show — and trashed it the entire time
I’ve heard this line from a bajillion fans: “The first few season were terrible, but it finally started getting good in season seven.”
I don’t know why so many people would be so willing to stick with a show for over half a decade when all they want to do is fire the whole thing into the sun, but let’s not be so quick to pass judgement on our fellow idiotic humans.
Now that everything has gone digital, changing the channel is a relic of the recent past, which means watching shit television is our only option.
“Honey, where’s the dang clicker?” “It got destroyed in the Great Remote Control Fire of 2017, dear!” “Well, looks like I’ve got no choice but to watch another painful episode of Contest of La-Z-Boys, then!”
Fans were pissed when they found out the show was going to be cancelled at season 8, and are now pissed it didn’t end sooner
As a general pop culture fan myself, I can well understand how fickle us devotees can be. But the fandom around Game of Thrones is especially volatile.
When an important character was killed, fans wanted to burn down the nearest orphanage. When an important character WASN’T killed, fans wanted to burn down the nearest Hospital for Adorable Puppies.
It’s perfectly reasonable to criticize a show’s writers if recent episodes weren’t up to par, or if they refrained from exploring the potential of an interesting character, or if too many plot threads were left unaddressed.
But in order to lodge legitimate complaints to a creator, the complaint-lodger has to have SOME sort of consistency in their line of thinking.
I’m just waiting for scientists to declare bipolar disorder a symptom of Game of Thrones-viewing.
And now fans are treating the show’s writers like a waiter who screwed up their meal order
Fans are now signing a useless petition to have HBO take back this latest season and give it back to fans without mayonnaise like they originally ordered or whatever, because TV writers apparently don’t write shows until you order them. I guess that makes HBO the Jack in the Box of TV.
Seriously, remember when a show was so bad, that people would just make some Twitter noise about how the incestuous siblings didn’t do enough incest or whatever, and then be done with it?
But nowadays, in this age of instant gratification, we have to rally the troops to create a petition that gets passed around on Twitter like some sort of social media STD and create a petition that demands that fans ruin the lives of complete strangers who are just trying to make an honest trillion dollars writing a TV show.
For shame, rabid fans. For the shamiest of shames.
Someday I’ll stop writing about Game of Thrones. But until people stop screeching about it and give this program a proper military funeral, I’m gonna keep churning these bad boys out.
And if you were offended by this article, keep in mind that I’m an idiot who knows nothing about what you care about, as evidenced by the following examples of shameless self-promotion:
The World Will Be A Better Place When Game Of Thrones Finally Fucking Ends
Search your feelings, GoT fans — you know it to be true.