Pay Me Lots Of Money & I’ll Tell You How Privileged You Are Over Dinner

I’m only offering this service until I’m rich, so sign up soon!

Image by stokpic from Pixabay

Dear Person of Privilege,

There are people who don’t make as much money as you and are suffering.

It’s time that you fixed this inequality by putting your money to good use and pay someone to tell you how privileged you are.

For the low fee of twenty-five bajillion dollars I’ll gladly come to your house at a time of your choosing, let you prepare me a gourmet dinner, and berate you for several hours about your privilege. Really, having me over is quite the privilege itself, which will probably motivate you to have me move in to compensate for all of the privilege you’ll accrue from my presence.

I think this is the only way for you to become one of those good humans you sometimes read about in history books or Jezebel.com.

Below is what you get with the one-time dinner option:

• Multiple conversation themes to choose from, all of them being “you’re privileged and terrible”.
• Several lengthy books that you’ll have to read (and pay for) prior to my blessed arrival so that you’ll understand the buzzwords I’ll shout at you.