Trader Joe’s & the Bigoted Tyranny of their…Food Packaging?!

The world’s tearing itself apart, but let’s get mad about products named “Trader Jose’s”.

It seems that Trader Joe’s, that purveyor of environmentally friendly and fine foods from around the world, has a Third Reich streak in them, with their aisles practically littered with proof of their genocidal tendencies. The proof, you see, is the cute names they’ve given to some of their products that match their ethnicities. Below is a soupçon of the crimes against humanity that Trader Joe’s has committed:

• “Trader Jose’s” (Mexican food)
• “Trader Giotto’s” (Italian food)
• “Trader Joe-San’s” (Japanese food)
• “Trader Ming’s” (Asian food)
• “JosephsBrau” (beer)
• “Trader Jacques’” (French food and soaps).

Not even Josef Mengele himself could stomach the atrocities perpetrated by a grocery store famous for selling Two Buck Chuck. Those brutes! If only an entire chain could be read its last rights and given the electric chair. Maybe we could set up a gulag of some kind for fresh format grocery stores accused and found guilty of white supremacy and mediocre frozen food items.