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Looking at naked pictures of words inspires me. I have a problem, ok?

Get Good at Grammar: Homophones & Why They Won’t Really Help Your Writing

I’m not a word doctor, but I am really good at words and want to help you help your words. Just think of me as an unlicensed linguisticologist. Set up an appointment with my receptionist and learn how to do grammar more better.

What the crap are homophones?

Technically, homophones are words that have the same sounds as other words but are spelled differently and have different meanings.

  • Pale: “Billy’s really sick. He’s all pale and has a bad case of explosive diarrhea. That oughta teach him not to make Satan’s Anus Buffalo Wings.”
  • Bye: Bye, honey! And remember, if the cops do show up, the distillery was there when we moved in!”
  • By: “And don’t forget to bribe the cops with our drug money. It’s in the urn with your grandmother’s ashes by the illicit arms cache.”
  • Genes: “My lab partner is really quite a fine specimen of the fairer sex. I’d like to get into her genes for a closer examination.”
  • Prey: “Unfortunately, the literary gods require some sort of human sacrifice in order to fulfill my wishes. Nobody cares about unpaid interns, which makes them great prey for my holy purposes. Human sacrifice is covered under religious freedom laws, right?”
  • Air: “Dude, I’m so excited about all of the BBQs I’m going to host with all of those ‘aged’ inherited beans, I can’t even breathe! Back off and give me some air or I’ll die of lung death!”

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